I had an abortion when I first met ___. I was in a very bad place emotionally before I met him. Last time I saw you, when you came to stay with me in that apartment I had, ___ and I had just broken up, and I was drinking A LOT. I was extremely depressed and alone.
I didn't think I would ever get my kids back, and I was pretty much on a path to suicide. I ended up leaving that apartment without even telling the office, and I got an apartment downtown close to my job. I thought I was "better off" downtown because I didn't have to drive so far to work, but all it did was put me closer to all the bars and friends that were drinking with me all the time. Started going to college and got into debt really bad. I spent a few days In a hospital because I tried to put my head though a pane glass window one night. Then I met ____. He's a Christian, doesn't drink, doesn't smoke, has a beautiful daughter already...the perfect gentlemen, ya know. At that point I had been told by a doctor that I couldn't have anymore kids because I would just keep having miscarriages. ___ and I tried to get pregnant for 2 years after that blighted ovum and it never happened so I was convinced. So I wasn't even bothering with birth control when I met ____. We had only been dating for a month when I found out I was pregnant. I was so freaked out. I barely knew him and I wasn't even sure if I liked him yet. When I went to the clinic, I kept telling myself to go home, but for some reason I couldn't stop myself.
It's not just PP. There are many other places the claim to be "helping" women, but are scary, scary places. The horrible place
I had a horrible experience and it wasn't at PP. They were so sweet and "helpful" over the phone, and even gave me a fucking grant to help pay for the procedure. Once I got there, I was on lockdown. I was escorted into the building by an armed officer who was extremely rude, they made me pay immediately and told me I would not receive a refund if I changed my mind. They were very cold and cut-throat people. The waiting room was filled with mixed business. Some were crying teens who were obviously there by force, and some were irritated, apathetic women who were complaining that they might be late for happy hour if they didn't hurry it up. I started crying, shaking, and almost vomited. At that point I had no phone ( because they don't allow them) to call my ride (because they don't allow you to drive yourself there), and I had no way of leaving otherwise. After about three hours of waiting room propaganda, and brainwashing brochure reading, I was called back. I was given a very brief time alone in an empty room to "think it over" one last time. An empty, cold, exam room. When the doctor came to get me, I was shocked to find that he was a very creepy ZZ Top looking guy with a full beard. He was intense and rude. I started crying again. The nurses quickly came to my side to "comfort" me by telling me all about their own abortions, and how painless it would be. Once I was in the room, it was completely different. The doc never said a word to me. The nurses were talking about their weekend plans while prepping me. The procedure came with very little warning. All I got was a " ok Hun" and then....intense, excruciating pain. It was over very quickly and the nurse told me "good job" as she handed me some pills and a care sheet and told me I'd feel "good as new" in a few hours. I was in some kind of emotional trance of shock and denial at that point. My entire experience felt like some bad dream. When I got home, I was quiet for many hours. It took awhile for reality to sink in. It then me so hard I nearly vomited. I cried harder than I'd ever cried my entire life. I haven't told many people that I've had one, and I still cry and feel sick every few months. It's not something you know for sure you can handle. Women are either monsters, or they're just simply misguided. There is no right way. There is no place better or worse than PP. The whole business is disgusting.

It was like I was being controlled by someone else. It was the weirdest thing. The lady who did my ultrasound said I was 6-7 weeks and there was no heartbeat. I was convinced that it wasn't alive anyway. I was so naive. So stupid. After it happened, I lied to ____ and told him I had a miscarriage. Then I felt guilty and told him the truth. He Cried for hours, but then held me and told me he would forgive me and that he was in love with me.We got very close after that, and fell in love. We decided we wanted a child, and that's how ___was made. She is our love, but not a replacement. I still haven't healed from the abortion, but I am getting better. I actually want another baby, but not right now. And that's the story.

*I had the abortion when I was 7 weeks pregnant. They said that they only performed abortions up to 8 weeks, so I had to come in right away. I had no time to really think things over. Turns out the clinic I went to is a late term abortion clinic, and they perform abortions up to 21.3 weeks. They LIED to me so I wouldn’t have time to rethink my decision. Had I had more time to come to grips with my situation, I might have chosen life.

Comments are closed.